Archive for May, 2009|Monthly archive page

Empty Nest Syndrome

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It could be a dangerous process, this thing called life.

Needed. That lost feeling of being needed. That was the real empty nest syndrome. It was the theme around here for the last 18 months. Maybe it always happened as a man or woman entered their fifties.

If you ever lost the feeling of being needed, there was an affect on how you lived. If you lost the feeling of being needed, there was an affect on your faith in God.

If you lost the sense of being needed, it affected your response to evil. That lost sense of being needed had moved into the neighborhood. I saw it in drug use. In gangs. Or with my perception of modern urban life, as 4 pseudo thugs walked by last night under the cover of darkness. By simply their sounds.

Crime was coming in. Actually 24 hours later 4 squad cars were around for an hour looking into something that had happened.

Crime. The world-wide web. Internet gambling. Chatting. The Russian Mafyia was here in the porn. And had been for the last decade. Deliver us. From evil. Kids. Adults. There was no escape. You could not deliver your kid to the internet bus stop. On the day the internet came, there no longer was a bus stop. Deliver us. From evil. If not you, your kids, your spouse.

That lost sense of being needed. I think God felt it. How could He not with the current age. In the secular world. Was an after affect of the loss of need called “mellowing with age?”

The lesson of need was learned not just upon the loss of a loved one. It came with unemployment. Or with a divorce. With the empty nest syndrome, in the age of the internet.

God certainly felt the loss of romanticism in the age of the internet. With more unbelievable ignorance of men about their lovers. The needs and wants were still present. Amidst all of this. Love. Love and needs and faith. The need to keep trying. When the magic seemed to be gone.

In this secular age, there was a lost feeling of being needed. It was palpable with the empty nest syndrome. There was trouble getting attention with a loss of life’s ritual. There was a need for a closeness that rituals provided or the feeling of need lost would exacerbate. That magic revealing yourself to someone else was lost when, one by one, people quit communicating. To God. To a spouse. At the point when the revelation of my own imperfections had been so slowly revealed. At the time of the empty nest syndrome. No wonder so many people in their fifties filed for divorce.

Divorce and the lost feeling of being needed. The loss of opening to someone in conversation to get close. When a partner did not seem to care to talk about the imperfections. Ah, those slowly revealed imperfections.

When you had failed at the most important thing in your life. Your marriage.

If I had a list, there would be 8 guys counted as best friends. Maybe a couple more. Two who used to be married to each other. Half of the most important males in my life were divorced. This would include my brother. I was not. Yet.

How did it happen? I had a discussion when one of my best friends about what he had described as the most important thing in his life when he categorized what had happened. He explained in intimate painful detail the pathology of what had happened. And then he could never tell the kids who were now over 21. Res ipsa locquiter. That failure did the talking.

How it had happened. Did you ever tell your kids the reasons why? And at what age?

There were a lot of people out there in search of the feeling of being needed again. In need of that magic which came revealing yourself to someone else. To God. To a spouse.

German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer had a point when he said that the first half of life “gives us text and what follows supplies the commentary on it.”

How did it happen? When you have failed? When you have failed at the most important thing in your life. That lesson learned was not just upon the loss of a loved one. It came with unemployment. With divorce. With the companionship part of your life. There was an element of belonging in all of this. There was an unrecognized joining with others to explain who you were all along. In employment. In marriage. There was this need for community.

And it was the same companionship part that moved me beyond myself to others, to complete the grieving process. When a chapter of life was over. How did it happen? I was looking to connect, to explain the painful detail of the pathology.

I never had comprehended the method of how, the reason to grieve correctly. I never had comprehended the need for others to reach an understanding about a change in a relationship. To get an understanding of the growing tension between elements of past and current identity, of what is going on. To get an understanding of the need to connect again.

Opening up to someone to replace the people that suddenly were not there, the intimacy lost. Support groups for grieving were not just for women. There was an instruction to join with the others in grieving. The instruction was to join the community to draw closer to this God. In the search for the feeling of being needed again.

It could be a dangerous process, this thing called life.

The Gravity of Money

It was the question of the year. How could home values go up or down so quickly? Where were the rating agencies? These were just opinions? Credit worthy? Fluctuating values. “Systemic risk.”

The changing valuations. The fluctuating currency value. Amidst the change in equity. In my house.

Equity markets. Falling equity in my home. When everyone felt secure with equity. It was as if equity was the purpose of life.

There were commissions involved with security. And commissions involved with exchange. Where had those commissions been?

That Filipino guy the other night. That guy, wanting to have sex. The nightclubs were filled with people like this. Just sex. Without concern with equity in a relationship. Without concern for real love. Without any real gentleness or compassion about a mate.

Slavery. Whether it was the Hebrews in Egypt or Africans sold for a cotton plantation. We were all descendants of slaves. Sex. Slaves to sex. But with choice. The choice beyond just having sex with someone in a relationship. The choice to marry someone. How many times?

How to teach the souls of the young? Teaching that “gentle” part of “gentlemen.” The graciousness. Learning the kind of God to believe in through religious education. And about that sanctity of marriage.

Searching for love. Little had changed from the past. The restlessness amidst all the change. I felt it upon my own college graduation. I wanted to get out of there. And make some money.

Memorial Day. Remembering the past. The great tradition, amidst all this change. And amidst the change, searching for God.

As to those outward signs: you had to be looking. A lot of people passed them by without a clue as to what was going on.

There was the rhythm of work. Lolling us. Investment bankers. Mergers & Acquisitions. Equities.

In partnerships. Keeping behavior in check. With liabilities assumed in partnerships. But behavior was not kept in check with the change to stock companies. There were dangers of greed. “Wall Street is a very dangerous place.” It was worse than polygamy.

Amidst all the change, to keep making money. Once the norm has been relativized, there was no obvious way to declare a way of life beyond the pale. Former Treasury official John Taylor, who had devised the “Taylor Rule” as a formula for rate-setting based on the outlook for inflation and growth, said the Fed’s growing balance sheet is a “systemic risk” because it may be difficult to unwind quickly enough without igniting inflation. Since last September 2008, the Fed’s balance sheet has more than doubled to about $2 trillion as it purchased government and corporate debt to help unfreeze credit markets and support banks’ demand for cash.

“Systemic risk.” Rate-setting. Rating agencies. Searching for value. Communal belief in value.

Communal beliefs were more than just opinions. Communal beliefs in action were more than just opinions.

Was there honesty in this work? At work? In the currency? In the trading? Was there honesty in my words? Or was there a lot of passing of the buck, the way government works.

Was there honesty in my words? In my prayer? Which reflected my actions? Was there any prayer by these people?

Falling valuations. Where was the honesty? Some got lost in the search and gave up.

Values. Opinions? These were just opinions? Or beliefs? Communal beliefs. Community’s norms.

Communal beliefs in action were more than just opinions. As to those outward signs: you had to be looking. A lot of people passed them by without a clue as to what was going on. Relying totally on those rating agencies. Passing the buck.

Searching for love. Searching for shelter. Amidst all the change. Searching for belief.

Creeds

Memorial Day. Remembering the past. The great tradition. Amidst all this change.

Amidst the change. Searching for God. And searching for love. Amidst all the change.

Was there honesty in my prayer? In my words? Which reflected my actions? Amidst the change in equity. In my house. The changing valuations. The fluctuating currency value.

About that sanctity of marriage. How many times?
There were commissions involved with security. And exchange.

Movies. The Russian Revolution. History was not an illusion. Nor was God.

Real fear. As an export.

The currency. Amidst the change in equity. In my house. The changing valuations. The fluctuating currency value.

Equity markets. Falling equity in my home. When everyone felt secure with equity. It was as if equity was the purpose of life.

Memorial Day. Remembering the past. The great tradition. Amidst all this change.

Beliefs. Opinions. Memorial Day. Prayer.

History was not an illusion. Nor was God. Slavery. Sex. Gentleness. That Filipino guy the other night. That guy, wanting to have sex. Just sex. The nightclubs were filled with people like this. Without concern with equity in a relationship. Without concern for real love.

How to teach the souls of the young? Graciousness. Teaching the “gentle” part of “gentlemen.”

Choice. The choice beyond just having sex with someone in a relationship. The choice to marry someone.

As to those outward signs: you had to be looking. A lot of people passed them by without a clue as to what was going on.

Some got lost in the search and gave up.

Learning the kind of God to believe in through religious education.

Was there honesty in my prayer? In my words?

Opinions? Or beliefs? Communal beliefs.

The Ascension Gospel: Why are you standing there? Go! Spread the news of God’s love.

Communal beliefs in action were more than just opinions.

Empty Nests

To be moved, in this world with all of its dysfunction, to act.

The 40% of American Catholics that had moved to different churches, amidst the dysfunction. The European Catholics who just plain quit worshiping. The leadership which by the way was supposed to believe in the Gospel of “I am the Good Shepard,” failed to respond to the dysfunction. Mostly it was left to the parish priest. The leadership, which seemed to called to go looking for its lost sheep, were lost in their own spiritual golf game.

To be moved. When creation had become chaos. Golf games. The priests to whom I was related had loved to play golf. Simple parish priests.

Dysfunction. The dysfunction. I saw it not far from my home in the black community. I heard it on a walk the other night where one woman never took a deep breath in the 120 to 180 seconds I just stood listening to an uninterrupted rant inside a house. When another neighbor came along from the opposite direction, I felt like I had to move on. It might have been the television but if it was, a commercial seemed over due. To this passer-by, it was not funny. It was hilarious.

Uninterrupted rants. There were a lot of them in the world. Creation had become chaos. All that the Good Book says is that Noah submits to God’s will and nothing more;uninterrupted rants. About the ongoing effects of World War II. When you elected leaders who had lived through it all. It was not just what Adolph Hitler had done to all of us, Jews and non-Jews. It was what Stalin had done to all of us. When so much of the media was ready to offer canonization, what had the leadership of John Paul II done to the church? How could anyone lived a life through all of this and not show affects of dysfunction?

Gdansk in 2001. People coming back to claim property wrongfully taken. Gdansk is about my favorite historical place in all the world. On issues of freedom in that shipyard. Following September 11, there were not many travelers looking at the Gdansk museum, where I learned that Gdansk represented much more than just Lech Walensa. The fight for freedom that arose there under the leadership of Lech Walensa came from events that had happened at the shipyard over a 10 year period. Massacres really. This was the successful Polish uprising, a lot like the ones that had ultimately failed in Warsaw in response to German occupation.

Where was the accountability in Rome to all the lost sheep? It was not just the abuse of the 20th Century and the lack of response from Rome. It was about addressing the status of women in the church for the 21st Century. Men born before World War II did not see the need to address it. Not when nuns were still ironing your vestments, making your food, and cleaning your apartment.

With a dysfunction seen in the corporate world with board of directors appointed by CEOs. When those boards did not question executive compensation. With politics as usual, without a concern for the real world. The real world of Bernard Law. And archbishops like that all over the country, not much different than the world of Wall Street.

When there was a laziness that came from your habits, without thinking. Going back to the same staid ways. When things quit working. The culture will soon be demanding even more reparations for these sins, if they had not already. The juries made up of women were a scary scene when they were going to sit in judgment of this church, on issues of damages against the church.

In this dysfunctional world, with all of the lost sheep

That party in Omaha. “What did you think about John Paul II.”

To be moved. Beyond words of apology. To be moved to change. It was time. This Penecost Sunday.

Those Fingers in My Hair

Those fingers in my hair
That sly come-hither stare
That strips my conscience bare
It’s witchcraft

And I’ve got no defense for it
The heat is too intense for it
What good would common sense for it do?
’cause it's witchcraft, wicked witchcraft

One woman in Saudi Arabia, Fawza Falih, is now on death row charged with witchcraft, based partly one one man’s accusation that her spell made him impotent. Egyptian Mustafa Ibrahim was executed in Riyadh on November 2, 2007 for what the Saudi Minister of the Interior described as “sorcery” and “witchcraft.” And decapitation awaits murderers.

There is no written penal code in Saudi Arabia. Capital punishment in Saudi Arabia is a public spectacle. Over the past 23 years, 1,750 convicts have been executed in Saudi Arabia, with reliable information scarce about the executed (830 against foreign nationals). There is no advance notice in Riyadh where beheadings happen any given day of the week at 9 a.m. The death penalty applies to many other crimes, such as drug use and trafficking, rape, adultery, armed robbery, and renouncing Islam. In trials involving the death penalty, the Saudi interpretation of the Koran discourages all forms of evidence other than confessions and eyewitness accounts. Decapitation awaits murderers. Questions of illegality depend on the on-the-spot interpretations of police and judges.

Nearly half of the executions are carried against foreign nationals who make up approximately 25% of the population. Amnesty International has called for a moratorium against the practice. .

There is nothing like a well run police state for personal safety.


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Notre Dame


May 11, 2009

Dear Members of the Notre Dame Graduating Class of 2009:

This Sunday, as you receive your degrees at Commencement, your joy – and that of your families – will be shared by the faculty, staff, and administration of the University. We have had the privilege of laboring with each of you to inquire and discover, to teach and to learn, and we will send you off with affectionate and fond hopes for the future.

During your years here we have endeavored to train you in the various disciplines and urged you to ask the larger questions – discussing not only the technical and practical but also the ethical and spiritual dimensions of pressing issues ….grappled with intellectual, political, and spiritual questions. ….The decision to invite President Obama to Notre Dame to receive an honorary degree and deliver the Commencement address….Yet, there has been an extra dimension to your debate….You engaged each other with passion, intelligence and respect…..At the same time, and born of the same duty, a Catholic university has a special obligation not just to honor the leader but to engage the culture. Carrying out this role of the Catholic university ….we must be a place where people of good will are received with charity, are able to speak, be heard, and engage in responsible and reasoned dialogue.

The President’s visit to Notre Dame can help lead to broader engagement ….on matters of human life and human dignity…..Remember, though, that this day is your day.

In Notre Dame,

Rev. John I. Jenkins, C.S.C.
President

Graduations

The end. King Lear. Elizabeth Edwards. Health care. Teddy Kennedy. Capitalism. Graduations. Obama. Notre Dame. The restlessness.

Infidelity: Elizabeth Edwards on her husband. It was “as if he embezzled from the entire family.” Embezzling intimacy. The restlessness of a man.

Notre Dame. Graduation. Speeches. Classic religious education and graduation: how many kids today can look at the Pieta and see anything? How many adults? The restlessness, to do something. The restlessness, mine, at the age of 22.

Graduations. Obama. Notre Dame. The letter. About being engaged in the real world. Engaged not so much with suffering as with sin. Would all these American bishops come down on Pope Benedict if he elects to meet President Obama in Rome when he is there for the next G7, G8, or G20 meeting come July? Holy Gee!

The new world order. In a world without regulations. The restlessness, on display. Capitalism and the new business model. It was about scalping. Wanting the best price. Pure market conditions, without regulation. Scalping junk. Engaged in the world, but not seeing the cost of scalping.

Old ways don’t work in a world of cheaters. It was as if they had embezzled from the entire family called civilization. The human condition. In a world that no longer listens, nor is listening.

The sick. The elderly. Health care. Capitalism. Retirement. Redoing it all. Counting the cost. Leadership. Engaged. The restlessness, on display. But with actual collegiality and listening.

The restlessness in sickness. The connection of my body to my soul: when you are feeling bad. An eye disorder.

The restlessness in the elderly. The separation of the soul from the body at death. The restlessness, on display in Shakespeare’s King Lear.

The restlessness, on display at that party in Omaha with college classmates. Thirty-some years later. The more things change, the more they remain the same.

The human condition. Engaged in the world. The restlessness. The restlessness in the young. The restlessness in the elderly. Abram, with a new name.
The Pieta. On display. The restlessness in the elderly. Reconciliation. The restlessness of the artist.

“Pain is a powerful motivator.” The power in pain and suffering. Motivating people to do what? A powerful motivator even to people who are powerless. The human condition and restlessness. In search of something.

Leadership. Engaged. The connection of my body to my soul. The restlessness, on display in the connection of my body to my soul. In youth. In King Lear. In that sculpture, the Pieta.

Listening. Listening to the connection of my body to my soul. The part of praying called listening. Priesthood. Listening to the restlessness. Abram, with a new name. Making the connection of my body to my soul. Be still!

Graduation speeches everywhere. At a time of spring. It was a time to be still. The time to listen.

The equity in the knowing. The part of God, on display, revealed to me. On my knees.

What is it that makes this day holy? What is it that is making me holy? The attempt at it anyway? The education. Falling on my knees, in sickness. Seeing and feeling the inadequacy of it all. Of me. Of this human condition. In comparison to the Creator.

The part of God, on display, revealed to me. My share. Then sharing my share. Priesthood. Actual engaged leadership. In the world. Listening.

Graduated. Collegiality and listening.

The Race for the Cure

Enhancements. Some women paid for them. It really did not happen amidst the poor. They had other things to worry about. Enhancement might attract the attention of a richer man. Time would tell of the depth of a relationship. Not many people really cared about those enhancements. Unless you were paying the plastic surgeon for the reconstruction. Or unless it was your daughter.

There are forces apparent on a generation schooled in the era of moral relativism. In business, in sports. Listen to the quotes on Manny Ramirez, posted on MLB.com.

Washington General Manager Manny Acta: “It is sad because this guy is going to get his name tainted forever.”

Oakland manager Bob Geren: “This is an unfortunate thing to happen, but the rules are very clear.”

Giants catcher Bengie Molina: “I’m not anybody to judge anybody. I’m not going to judge Manny.”

Cincinnati manager Dusty Baker: “Fifty is a long time. And that’s really going to hurt the Dodgers. And it is going to hurt his reputation. I just hate it that another star goes down.”

Philadelphia manager Charlie Manuel, Ramirez’s former hitting coach in the Cleveland Indian organization: “I’m kind of sad about that. But I don’t know what to say about that. I’m sad. I saw him when he was in rookie ball.”

The cost of enhancements. The moral relativism.

I love Charlie Manuel. Even before today. Since he was a rookie in Minnesota. Since those days, he has seen the world. The poverty. He knows how poor a kid like Manny was. In either the Dominican or in the slums of New York. But Manny is now 37. He has made his millions.

The world should be sad and disappointed. Over what he is doing to his own body. And OUTRAGED over cheating. The baseball world should wake up to the meaning of what is going on, in a game that has become a living science experiment. It was like the world of spies and counter-spies. Who do you trust among these players? Any of them? And why am I watching this? Why am I watching these experiments in human growth hormones mingle with the natural athletes?

It was not just about enhancements. Not when the game was a competition. Not when the game was about the past and the future. That was the selfishness of either an uneducated group of users or this entire generation schooled in the era of moral relativism. These graduates asked not to be judged. Like the Giant catcher.

Speaking about a post on MLB.com. and the cost of enhancements, all this was going on as newspapers were dying. MLB.com is paying a writer to travel with the team. In the case of the Dodgers, one of only two daily “beat” writers. Beat writers who used to follow a team from coast to coast, to bring you a sense of the heartbeat of the game, and the pulse of the players. In a day when there was, in my sense, a bit of heart disease in the game, based upon these quotes.

The day was coming soon when the game of baseball itself was gonna need a heart transplant. If anybody even cared, after watching this generation of players. But in the words of Sonny and Cher, “and the Beat Goes On.” The beat after the Mitchell Report. But without the “beat” writers who have not really been given access to this modern era of players. Without the “beat” writers who never really have brought the story of steroid use to the public over the last 15 years. And I sure did not expect MLB.com beat writers to reveal the transparency of a team. There seemed to be a conflict of interest for what was once called publicists. With MLB.com paying writers to cover a team, with Major League Baseball forming their own network with their own announcers, who expected criticism, much less transparency. These “beat” writers, the true critics, had been, in the era of agents, denied real access to the modern players anyway. And about the time that steroid use started. The day was here where the organic player was in need a special place just like grocers put old-fashioned organic food in the grocery stores, and maybe would charge us more. If that was possible.

From one generation to the next, baseball has provided a language to communicate that there was a sense of transcendence about life greater than I. Baseball communicated that there was a connection between me and others. My teammates. To all who played the game. Like a religion, baseball was a spiritual experience in a world where people felt closer in ritual. Baseball was all about the depth of a relationship.

Hall of Famer Juan Marichal: “I was wrong thinking he was a pure, natural hitter and that he would never use anything that would help a player do better. I am very sad to hear a player of his caliber could be involved in such a thing. I consider it cheating the game to have a positive test.”

Rockies shortstop Troy Tulowitzki: “Him being out 50 games is huge for the Dodgers lineup. It takes the best player in the division out for 50 games. That gives us a little window of opportunity so hopefully we can take advantage of it.”

Those honest windows of opportunity in a game with a lot of deceit: welcome to baseball in the 21st century. It was truth being stranger than science fiction. Why am I watching these experiments in human growth hormones mingle with the natural athletes? When I had never wasted my time on science fiction.

Even in the era of moral relativism, those 10 Commandments never changed. The tenets of the past remained for the present and the future, without enhancements. The failure amidst all of this was in the teaching the graciousness of the game, the “gentle” part of “gentlemen,” to the souls of the young. Whether players had come from the PAC 8 colleges or the barrios of Latin America, in an age of diversity there should be lifelong banishment for steroid use. The Barry Bondses, the Roger Clemenses, the Manny Ramirezes

David Howman, director of the World Anti-Doping Agency: “It is regrettable that the sport does not identify substances involved in positive cases. Baseball needs to be transparent.”

A lack of transparency was what had caused the collapse last September on Wall Street, which did not happen over night. Ah the politics of the game which also now had limited transparency. So this was what had been taught to those guys who majored in sports administration.

George Bush had been the managing general partner of the Texas Rangers about the time Bud Selig came to power in the current system. That current system under Selig with no distinction to the American League or the National League. The narrative of the story of baseball under Bud has been an acquiescence to the player’s association, a looking the other way, with a lack of regulation. From the commissioner, to the general manager, the managers, the umpires, everyone was making too much money and looking the other way while cheaters just kept on cheating. It sounded a lot like Wall Street. So why was I watching this? I would not compete myself again a cheater for recreation, after I did it all week on Wall Street.

I was a Juan Marichal fan growing up. Reading MLB.com, he seems one of the few people who could connect the sense of transcendence about baseball, about what he did in his life, that was greater than himself. Someone should tell Dusty Baker, this was more than about the Dodgers, or Manny’s reputation. The waters of free agency had made all of the guys just Prussian soldiers, going through the motions.

“And the Beat Goes On.” In 50 more games. In the polluted waters of free agency. It was a new era of globalization. When that local newspaper was owned from far away. When local politics was decided by political contributions from Hollywood. Or maybe from China. It was the era when the players came from afar, when an owner in Los Angeles was a parking lot owner in Boston. When scattered stockholders throughout the world were interested only in bottom lines. And no one really cared about anything except money.

Those enhancement might attract attention for a while, of those of us with money to spend on tickets. Until we looked at what was underneath it all.

Time would tell of the depth of a relationship. Time would be the judge of the depth of love of the game of kids who grew up amidst all of this.

The Race for the Cure might be a new name for the entire decade of baseball, not that division competition in the National League West. Those enhancements following the last baseball strike had worked for a while. Until someone actually figured to look underneath it all. Now that we all knew what was under the current game, it was time to change this unending behavior.

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Masters of Business Administration

A good manager learns to lead by asking, “Will you do it for me?” My first manager in the world of business said that his job was to make his boss look good. I figured out that my efforts were to be directed to making my local boss look good, so his boss would look good.

It was a lot like post secondary education. Dunwoody Institute has this commercial. Something in the commercial made me hear a discussion with an 18 year old and a parent. Because even this school cost something like $15,000 a year. “You know why you want to go there? You know the resources there? You know what you are after? You know what it cost? You are ready to pay the price for the years without income? Do you know how “we” are gonna pay for it? You have a plan to absorb knowledge there? You know what you are going to do with it when you are done?”

It seemed a Christian thing. A Jewish thing. And those Moslems prayed 5 times a day.
Those prayers. And the Moslems I knew then got back in their cabs. And mostly waited. For the next fare. You prayed for this. And when your prayers were answered, most went on with life. Not knowing the next step. Turning it on. Turning it off. What was the next step, when your prayers were answered?

I seldom have heard discussion of the in depth thinking that went into prayer.

Maybe it was the questioning, about the next step after prayer why secularism was growing. Maybe it was the questioning of the modern world, that secular world to dogma, to religious institutions, and the lack of response by institutional religion to suffering. What are you doing? Why are you doing this? Why are you so slow to move?

This lack of movement: What have I done? What have I failed to do? There was no script on the how. On that last commandment, to go baptize all nations. “Do this in memory of me.”

My first manager in the world of business said that his job was to make his boss look good. Making someone off in the distance look good. Passing on the lessons. Of this place and of this land.

That National Day of Prayer

There seemed to be a large amount of unrest within. People looking for God. People looking for a mate. Or you just had kids of your own.

Inward unrest. Unrest contained. Unrest given direction. Dealing with attraction. Dealing with shame. Those outward signs for that inward unrest. In the search for something to do. That invisible wrestling match of youth, in the search for meaning in all.

Watching kids play…until the day you wondered how they thought. What they thought.

Until they came to the “how” question in their lives.

What to do after “becoming”? A question of voice. That jump up and grabs you. Active or passive? The response. The fear that the future was left in my hands. In their hands.

In the search for leadership, the world was a serious place. The search for something to say. To each other. To God. Last week I read a piece written by a rabbi. About that Kaddish which was said at the close of the Jewish worship service. When the word “death” was not even mentioned.

MAY HIS KINGDOM COME
IN YOUR LIFE. SWIFTLY and SOON.

MAY HIS GREAT NAME BE BLESSED.

The blessing, that sharing, connected me to all of history. In the present. In memoirs of the past. In the search for something to say, the suffering was the mortar. The mortar that brought people together.

The sharing was up to me. On birth. On death. On new life. On the things that had throughout all times brought a large amount of unrest. In families. With loved ones. God and His subtle unrest.

That Greek verb of movement in the Resurrection story. The interpretation was not ‘do not come to me’, but ‘go.’ God only gives the gifts but doesn’t distribute the gifts equally. The sharing was up to me.

Be touched. “Behold!” GO!

MAGNIFIED AND SANCTIFIED
MAY HIS GREAT NAME BE
IN THE WORLD THAT HE CREATED

Go! Amidst those fairly mundane things in your day: walking, listening, singing in the course of a day. Praying and reflecting at the close of the day. About those fairly mundane things in your day. And about the unrest. Go and touch the underlying sentiment and be moved. And then come back. Swiftly and soon.

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