The Groundhog: Living in the Shadows


Shadows. Living in shadows. Of fathers and mothers. And the past. And with a comparative approach to religion. Comparing the framework of your God to my God. In springtime….when.

“What do you want to say?” The struggle of what you wanted to say. With your fertility. WHEN you as a writer were in charge of everything. The scene. The history. The affect of history on people. When you were directing their DNA and fertility. What would happen. In a world where things just seemed to happen, the characters had no free will. Like in some parts of the globe. Like in Egypt.

When you poured your heart into everything, at a price. Dealing with insignificance, in a world with 6 billion people and you did not really know anyone. Because of the language barrier. The world with six billion people with one billion ideas per person.

The strangeness of God., to those who do not know Him. Maybe that was why the best comics were Jewish and Irish. When humor is based upon strangeness. Before you lost a capacity to know God further on earth. Or in earth. And it was left to your fertility. In those Mount Moriah moments.

Looking at the body and blood for clues. And mainly focusing on fertility. Of a woman. Clues of the past and in the future. The mystery in the inheritance. As it had happened throughout human history. The Swede, my money manager, thinks that the United States in the future will use power, American armies, to impose a dominant economic system. It had happened throughout human history. When in war, the mountains will fall and the hills turn to dust. When it all seemed to be collapsing.

Sweden. Opinions rather than ethics? Real ethics. I had this friend from youth who would be sentenced soon in federal court, for a lapse in judgment, as an accountant. At his first job, no one would have asked him to do something contrary to recognized good. Such as changing a contract. Cutting and pasting.

People reconstructing their lives. After a war. A lot of vets came home with their fertility intact. Some to a family where fertility was previously dispursed. Pray for the returning war vet. Yeah, the ones who had volunteered, for whatever reason.

The excitement when the future is released in the power of fertility. And then experiencing the future from that fertility. When the future looks out of control. Beyond control, like creation itself. As two become one. And a human learned how to trust someone.

Killed in the riots in Egyt in 1952. Going back to look for something there. The Kubler-Ross mystery, with the Judy Herman mystery. Working the anger through. For generations. As the sorrowful mysteries turn to glory.

The urges about the past. The warmth of intimacy which determines the future. The excitement out of control. As two becomes one. Or you take “precautions,” over the excitement. As one lover makes adjustments for the other. To be touched by the future and wanting more. The vows over it. In creating my own personal future. Strangers becoming lovers. Attached. Bonded, for all time. The fidelity. The hunger. For more. The Jesuits called it Magis. The needs and the wants within, to be touched. The public proclamation to the world,without shame, unconditionally about the future. About union,and kids, and hunger.

A part of me, in the future. Now! Even if I should die. Seeing it, experiencing the future alive, as the invisible slowly becomes visible. To have a role in the future, in creating the future. With my fertility. The seasons. The cycles. A lot like Abraham and inheritance and the farm. The excitement of the discovery of the story. The same stories again and again. Generation after generation, the lives of people with similar DNA. And the strangeness of Abraham, on Mount Moriah. And the strangeness of God, to those who do not know Him.

Attempting to grasp meaning. Over birthright and inheritance. In the embezzlement of incomplete ideas. When it was difficult to talk about intimacy in fron of one thousand people. Over issues of love and of things like divorce. The adult things which children had to be taught, from positions of authority. Because leaders were made and not born. Even though days of birth were celebrated here.

Wrestling with identity. Birthright, when the framework breaks down. And kids are overwhelmed. Shadows. Ground hogs and kids…..living in shadows. Of fathers and mothers. And the past. And with a comparative approach to religion. Comparing the framework of your God to my God. In spring….when it should come. If it should come.

Ground hogs. Rebirth. Masking rebirth in the shadows. David Reminick’s line about living the same old stories in our lives. (As writers trying to write…some kind of a fresh prayer. About rebirth.) And calling it work.

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